Friday, 7 November 2014

I want to be fit (i.e.lose weight)



Exercise to be fit, not skinny
Eat to nourish your body
And always ignore the haters, doubters and unhealthy examples that were once feeding you
You are worth more than you realise
-Anonymous-
 
 
 
Ok I don't want to make miseries and melancholia as part of me, hence I write this post on being healthy, as my first step of moving.
 
Ingat tak lepas raya Aidilfitri  lepas, I announced proudly that I dah kurus. Ye lah, dah la puasa plus I eat in small portion. Memang I jaga portion makanan sebab it is the cause of my weight. I notice sangat bila I makan portion kecil, my body contour is pretty good walaupun tak kurus macam dulu. Well, ku sangkakan panas sepanjang hari, rupanya hujan di tengahari, yang indah hanya sementara. Dukacitanya I'm gaining weight unhealthily. Ya, in other words, I is gemuk. But people say gemuk is an offensive word, it is offensive like mandul word. Being fat is not a sin as long as it is healthy, but in my case, I'm gaining weights unhealthily, and add fews extra inches.

Unhealthy because I compare myself dengan blogger2 lain, ada yang berbadan besar tetapi memilih cara hidup sihat, join marathon la, daki gunung la, jogging la, masukkan resepi diet dalam pemakanan harian, etc. Kalau macam tu tak apa la sebab sihat. Energetic je I tengok kehidupan diorang. I ni orang kata 'lemau'.
 
Puncanya semua ini adalah kerana tidak consistent dan tidak istiqamah. Plus I silap sebab not eating healthy and not do any workout. Salah cara ini. Just control portion is not main factor but it is definitely contributing factor. Ada orang tanya tips I siap bagi tips tuh. Choyyu malunya iolssss....!!
 
Sekarang I sangat besar, I feel fat and soggy. Then I terus explore instagram with tag #iwanttochangemylife. Yes, most of the photo under that tag semuanya related to moving on in terms of being healthy. Healthy in physical, soul, mind and emotion, which also lead to eat clean or eat healthily.
 
I admit fitness is not my cup of tea, so bila ada blogger yang tulis pasal fitness I memang skip baca. Cuma I kagum gila la dari besar jadi kecik halus dan cantik. I actually tak nak jadi kurus sangat macam anak dara dulu sebab people said I was like walking skeleton and nenek kebayan, sebab pipi I kempung and thus make my teeth potruding in ugly way. Ramai je orang having protruding teeth tapi menambah lawa, yang I pula tak lawa. It happened because I had caries (like dentist always said to me) or senang cakap, cavities. It made my food consumption difficult and plus I received a very small salary so I had to be wise in my food spending. Jadi itu salah satu penyebab kurus. But my friends yang belajar medic dulu kata a lot of people makan macam I tapi boleh je badan fit, I ni kemungkinan besar ada high metabolism. Ya I percaya. Then I underwent two minor teeth surgeries less than a year, beza dua surgery tersebut adalah 7 bulan. After that, people started noticing that I eat a lot and compliments me that I gaining a good weight and my skin glowing with radiance. Furthermore, I also jogged and built some stamina.
 
I achieved my glory days masa 2 bulan before kahwin dan setahun dua lepas kahwin. I resigned from work. And saudara mara started compliments me, termasuk my supervisor and kawan2 postgraduate . Gembira gila rasa. Rasa macam I am normal. Masa tu rasa kesian pada people yang overweight yang determined to lose some weights. Kesian sebab bersusah payah nak kurus kembali, now sendiri pun sama. Padan muka. 
 
Tetapi, tanpa I sedari metabolisma adalah sesuatu anugerah yang boleh ditarik semula, selaras dengan umur. Masa itu juga I asyik duduk menghadap notebook menyiapkan thesis dan belajar some analysis, bila I bosan I blogwalking and tenggelam dalam blogsphere. The blogger kerap post gambar makanan dan resepi, kebetulan baru kahwin I pun baru belajar masak. Masa tu duduk in Borneo tak lalu sangat makan makanan cara Borneo so husband always bought me fastfood. Untuk minum petang pula I selalu makan kek Secret recipe. Bila dah kerja ada duit lebih makin menjadi, pun tabiat makan tak berubah. Sampai ada orang sindir I konon dulu I kurus sebab tak kerja tak ada duit nak makan, dah kerja ada duit banyak makan sampai jadi gemuk.
 
Bila balik semula ke Semenanjung, tabiat tak berubah, konon masa takde anak ni la nak masakkan sedap2 untuk husband, plus I nak show off kat family I dan family mertua yang I pandai masak *nafsu syaitan betul*. Semua itu sudah tercapai, dan menjadi tabiat. Sampai lah semua orang komplen I gemuk sangat, hilang rupa lah, punca tak pregnant lah, etc. Husband ajak I pergi jog, I pura-pura tidur. Or selalunya masa dia ajak tu kebetulan hujan. So the natures understood my laziness la kononnya. I know bila berdiri depan cermin rupa buruk, tapi I don't make any effort, I lebih sibuk cantikkan kulit. Like kononnya bila kulit cantik, people will forget my weight. Apparently no.
 
Kalau dah naik berat badan not in healthy way pakai baju apa pun kelihatan seperti sarung nangka, seksi terjojol atas bawah. Pakai tudung pun kelihatan makcik-makcik kerana pipi kembung  dan rahang melebar. Masa tu sedih sebab belum beranak rupa seperti beranak lapan, orang lain umur sebaya sudah beranak tiga pun masih cantik. Sedih.
 
 
Cuma beberapa hari kebelakangan ini, baru ada kesedaran. I started explore (as I said earlier #iwanttochangemylife) lead to  #eatclean #eathealthily for days untuk dapatkan cara pemakanan sihat. I also followed some instagram account in fitness. Kemudian I follow dan baca semula blogger punya fitness posts yang dulu-dulu tu. Baru tahu rupanya selama ini I'm not live healthily. Not eat clean. Baru tahu rupanya Kenny Rogers and Subway tu menu2nya semua eat healthy, I tak pernah order menu begitu, I mesti order heavy carbs menu, dessert mesti order cheese cake. Then I baca salah satu caption dalam fitness IG account tu; pengalaman dia sendiri, dia kata dia feel soggy and suka baring atas katil (masa tu memang I'm in the exact position pun), she felt miserables with her life, so one day she decided to change her life. So get up and working out, live healthily and suddenly her mood change, plus she also able to control her life in another aspects. She said that if in your innerslf is in bad shape, your outer self also go parallel. It strucks me, it hit me hard because that exactly what I feel .
 
So I started followed IG accounts and read a lot on live healthy and eat clean, I know I miss a lot, I download zumba, download workout video, donwload motivation, recipes, dan macam macam lagi lah. And I started yesterday. And I feel good.

And another confession, I nak look good masa kahwin adik I nanti. Tak nak la macam haritu masa dia bertunang hal I gemuk dan tak pregnant jadi talk of the town. So ada lebih kurang dua bulan. #nafsusyaitanlagi #tapiokkot


 
Moga iolls istiqamah. Doakan la ya  :-) :-) :-)

9 comments:

  1. Jom, jom BnC!!
    Yani kadang kalau terskip 1-2 hari buat workout, selalu rasa "bad feeling" dan bisik dalam hati...."Dah kurus dan sihat sangat ke yang x nak continue workout ni??" Huhu....

    Tapi betul la, kalau dah biasa bersenam pastu stop sekejap, badan jadi lemau semacam. Start balik bersenam, baru rasa sedap badan dan bertenaga balik.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Yani, saya pun backlog entry Yani yang lepas2 nak baca tips2 dari Yani. Salah satu sumber inspirasi.
      Harap2nya berjayalah saya nak being fit and lose some weight, tak mahu kembang sebab nanti asyik beli baju baru je baju lama dah tak muat. After all, I just want to be healthy that's more important.

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  2. hurm. betul jugak kan. diet dan menjadi kurus tak semestinya kita sihat dalaman. unless kita eat clean & healthy. susahnyaaaaaa nak eat clean :(

    tp kalau nak sihat dan nak anak natural without drugs , diri sendiri kenalah usaha benda2 mcmni. i nak kata gemuk tak lah sedang2 kot tp sebenanrya banyak lemak2 tersembunyi bermaharajalela dalam badan. sebab tu jadik pcoser.

    thnks for ur spirit. rasanya nak CUBA kot jadi rajin dgn workout & eat clean :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Saya pun masih mencuba cik CT. Nak kata gemuk sangat tu tidak la..Sebab my body masih flexible, kalau diet boleh kecil sikit, tapi kalau tak diet memang gemuk dan besar.

      Moga kita sama sama rajin

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  3. BnC...ur husband mesti support kan usaha u nak kurus. My hubby not. Dia pun gemuk. Susah nak buat bila the only partner yg ada x support. Aritu ada la kejap dia jog. La ni dah back to old lifestyle. Mkn banyak. After makan terus baring. No more excercises. Bila i mkn sikit dia bising. Sorry bukan nak burukkan dia but i tak tahu nak buat mcm mana dah. Korg...any idea how to face this situation?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Memang my husband support sangat sebab dia tak suka i gemuk. My husband is not fat, he eat a lot but his nature of work make him move actively and he also involve actively in sport at his workplace. So actually kalau I follow his eating style I will be fat but he is not..So i decided not to follow him anymore. He is okay and happy seeing me eating in small portion, and encourage me to do some exercise.
      In your case, I am sorry I don't know how to, maybe after seeing you kurus like the old days he will feel the urge to be kurus like you too..?

      Delete
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    ReplyDelete
  5. dear B&C
    OMG lama gila tak bace blog u!! i sendiri pun jarang updet blog - tapi baru update tadi. i would like to invite u to come to my TTC Breakthrough Program, bcoz ur one of the TTCian i knew yang banyak buat positive mindset etc etc, kalau boleh if u dont mind sharing ur experience n ttc journey with others, i would like u to come to this program so we can help other TTCian to change their mindset on TTC...pls view my blog for more info :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG I don't know this..why o why..on that date, I have a conference to attend (InShaaAllah) dear so I am sorry..And sorry for not aware of this thing

      Delete