Monday, 18 August 2014

Healing body through Asma' ul Husna

They asked me who I loved? I gave them 99 names - Anonymous
It has been discovered by Doctor Ibrahim Karim (Biologist) that Asma ul Husna, most beautiful names of Allah (SWT) have healing power to a large number of diseases. He used precision methods in the measurement of energy within the human body and discovered that every one of the names of Allah (SWT) stimulates energy in the immune system of the human body to work efficiently in a certain ideal human body.

He discovered that the mere mention (reciting) of most beautiful names of Allah (SWT) leads to improvement in the tracks Bio Energy within the human body, and after a 3-years of research Doctor Ibrahim Karim reached to the following:
01. Ear – As Sami (The all Hearing)
02. Bone – Al Nafi (The creator of good)
03. Backbone – Al Jabbar (The Compeller)
04. Knee – Al Ra uf (The Clement)
05. Hair – Al Badi (The Originator)
06. Heart – Al Nur (The Light)
07. Muscles – Al Qawi (The All Strength)
08. Heart Waves – Al Wahab (The giver of All)
09. Heart Muscle – Al Razaqq (The Sustainer)
10. Nerve – Al Mughni (The Enricher)
11. Artery – Al Jabbar (The Compeller)
12. Stomach – Al Razaqq (The Sustainer)
13. Cancer – Al Jalil (The Mighty)
14. Thyroid – Al Jabbar (The Compeller)
15. Thigh- Al Rafi (The Exalter)
16. Migraine – Al Ghani (The Rich One)
17. Eye Arteries – Al Muta ali (The Supreme One)
18. Kidney – Al Hayy (The Ever Living One)
19. Colon – Al Ra uf (The Clement)
20. Intestine – Al Razzaq (The Sustainer)
21. Liver – Al Nafi (The creator of good)
22. Pancreas – Al Bari (The Make of Order)
23. Fatty Sacks – Al Nafi (The creator of good)
24. Womb – Al Khaliq (The Creator) 25. Bladder – Al Hadi (The Guide)
26. Rheumatism – Al Muhaymin (The Guardian)
27. Prostat – Al Rashid (The Righteous Teacher)
28. Nerves of the Eye – Al Zahir (The Manifest One)
29. Pineal Gland – Al Hadi (The Guide)
30. Blood Pressure – Al Khafed (The Abaser)
31. Lung – Al Razzaq (The Sustainer)
32. Thymus Gland – Al Qawi (The All Strength)
33. Gland above the Kidney – Al Bari (The Make of Order)
34. Hair Peel – Al Jalil (The Mighty)
35. The Nasal Cavities – (Al Latif, Al Ghani, Al Raheem)
36. Eye – (Al Nur, Al Basir, Al Wahab)
Method of treatment: Lay your hands on the place of pain and praise Allah (SWT) names above according to your disease until the pain heals or cure away Insha Allah.
Note: Please keep in mind whatever takes place in result of reciting the names of Allah (SWT) depends on the Will of Allah, the Almighty

Source: Healing through Quran


IMO: I don't find the medical journal or the original source of the article from the Dr Ibrahim Karim, I want to read the original source, and to know the methodology and findings. I hope if any one of you found them, you can drop the link at comment section. Thank you.

Friday, 15 August 2014

How to Deal with Bitter Criticism by 'Aaidh Abdullah al-Qarni

Surely silence can sometimes be the most eloquent reply
-Sayyidina Ali ibn Thalib r.a.-

This is one of the interesting point in the book that I read now,(as promised to share with you), Don't be Sad (La Tahzan) by 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni (page 34-35) on how to deal with bitter criticism.

The important point in this excerpt is:
1) Turn away
2) Dismiss the criticism
- it increase our value and merit.

Still practicing it to achieve maximum optimism. InsyaAllah hopefully Allah grant me with preserverance and persistent.

Thursday, 14 August 2014

The evil inside me

This is an old draft. Apology for harsh words and emotional tone here. I need to let it go to indicate that I'm a human. That I'm in progress of becoming of better servant.

Surely there is in the body a small piece of flesh; if it is good, the whole body is good, and if it is corrupted, the whole body is corrupted, and that is surely the heart’.
(Prophet Muhammad PBUH)
-Sahih Bukhari-
The reason why I still in anonymity when talking about infertility is family. Family is sacred to me but I wrote about them several times here. Talking bad about them. In progress of being positive, of course there are people will test us up to our limit and boundary. There are many tips on how to deal with people like these out there, but for family, the tips sometimes is not applicable, because we dont want anyone to get offended.
I'm changing my attitude, in progress. Doakan semoga istiqamah.
 But deep inside, I know there is little evil inside me.
When my SIL gave birth a daughter last year, she blatantly asked me on my full fasting on Ramadan with proud smirk. At that time, I felt that it is so inappropriate to ask me that, due to the fact that she is also TTC for two years and underwent some treatments.
Furthermore, she is not friendly toward me, even with capacity of family. I am like a threat to her.
She will dine when I and husband had finished our eating/before we eat
She will locked herself in room when I/husband in living room watching TV
She will go out watching TV when I taking naps in room
If we a family went out, and happened that she and I sat next to each other, she will made distanced herself like we were on fight
When she saw I dressed up, she out of nowhere made comments that she is too lazy to dress up and dressing up is wasting time.
She married a year later after me and thought that she will be pregnant immediately, so she try to be friendly but apparently not so she resumed to her old behaviours. The way she looked at me like she is nervous if I get pregnant before her. She also kept asking husband secretly if i got pregnant - of course without my presence. She also always asked my husband what I'm cooking and also asked my parents in law what I bring to kampung. I also found that she is the favourite daughter of my parents is law. She is not beautiful compared to my other sister-in-laws. Despite she have a decent job, her appearance and her lifestyle is outdated. I always caught her look secretly to my face and my clothes with jealousy, and once after breakfast I saw her immediately went to mirror and scrutinized her face while others not aware of that. She used to try to wear like me but to no avail, even worse she looked like a maid, that one time she was proposed by a mother of school gardener.
Right after she gave birth and she asked me the stupid question, her mother in law also asking me the question and sneered at me for not getting children. I dont care about her mother in law but I was severely offended upon her question until now that I swore in my heart that I will not treat her kids well like I do to other nieces and nephews.
Guess what, after she gave birth, all the low self esteem and isolation are gone. She is confident now, outspoken, little bit bitchy, demanded, and extra friendly toward me that I found extra suffocating, even more when she full of herself that her daughter is so cute. This is because her presence in eveywhere I stand/I sit where she kept smooching, nagging affectionately, or rambling to her daughter in front of me. Those are so noisy to my ear because the other sister in laws are laid-back in entertaining their children. I know she make it purposely for me. Even when she is not dining with us, she will sit with her baby with us - doing the smooching, rambling or pretentious nagging, sometimes make porridge in front of us while the ingredients in the kitchen, and other more that I found blergh..
To make it worse, she always tag along with us when we going out (because her husband dont like to come to parents-in-law's home) and once traveled with us (the thing she always avoid before she gave birth). On travel, I was scolded by husband because of her delving into her baby bag and I went out in scorching hot. I was mad and not taking my lunch at that time, kept quiet, and not in the mood at all. Feel guilty, she asked me if I took my lunch, as usual with my stern voice for her other stupid question, I said No. Feel guilty she decided to tag along with other in-laws car. Great.
In our balik kampung, I was even shocked by her arrogance. Due to her light sleeper baby, a single noise will wake the baby up so she feel so exhausted to entertain her daughter, as the baby is quite active. So when other nieces and nephews balik kampung, they play together, giggles, kidding around and doing some activities. Due to this, she yelled and scolded the nieces and nephews to keep quiet because her baby cannot sleep. She did it twice or thrice I cannot count- in front of their parents, my other in-laws. They just kept quiet of her behaviour and asked their children to stay silent but I can saw that their face showing bitterness. I have no kids but I also got offended by that, due to the fact that she kept hugging and kissing those nieces and nephews before she have her own. Not only that, she thoughts her baby is so special that when her baby wanders or crawls mindlessly, she expects me to take her baby.
The evil inside me:
I ignored the baby, instead I hugged and kissed other nieces and nephews in front of her.
When she bathed her baby and wore her the cute clothes and sat close to me, she expects me to compliment her baby,
the evil inside me:
I ignored the baby, instead I compliments other nieces and nephews.
When she stirred porridge in front of me without purpose and looked at my face just want to see my reaction,
the evil inside me:
I ignored the porridge, I took my phone and browse internet.
When she purposely let her baby go to crawl to me,
the evil inside me:
I took my tab and read my e-book, or read newspaper.
When she expect me to greet her baby and kiss her before going back to our home,
the evil inside me:
I ignored her baby, only greet her and go straight to the car.
On travel, everybody forgot about her baby stroller, other in-laws said that their car boot  were full. So it leaves to husband's car. Husband on the other hand, forgot that there was stroller that need to be squeezed in the boot. She looked offended that everybody forgot about her baby stroller.
The evil inside me:
Great.  Nobody thought about your baby.
I found out at her parents-in-law's home, her baby is the first grandchildren so her baby is well-attended by her in-laws, but here everyone (my other in-laws) (except moi) have babies and children, and their kids also cute. So her arrogance and haughtiness is ignored here. Till one time she mentioned to her baby that, "hey, sana ramai orang layan boleh la mengada-ngada".
(The thing is her baby is quite active so everybody in the house were worn out to entertain her, so she sort of offended when our family not attending her baby like at her parents-in-law's home).
Maybe if she show me little compassion and being sensitive, I dont mind being a full-time babysitter. Big mistake sistah!
the evil inside me:
Oh, now she aware that nobody entertain her snobbiness and her baby. Great.
On family travel, she kept whining endlessly that having a child is exhausted. (because her husband not accompany her). She wants to eat with us due to hunger but she angry when nobody want to hold her baby while she is eating. I know she also making eye contact with me when whiningbecause I only have an 'empty baggage' but I ignored her. Other family members also ignored her baby because all of them were busy managing their children and all of us were worn out. Then, my brother-in-law refuted that not only a mother is tired, the driver also tired, husband also adding up, and mother-in-law spoke out that although she not bearing any babies, she also worn out.  And after that she stopped whining.
the evil inside me:
Oh woman, serve you right! Your whining got nowhere.
The recent she tag along again with us (duuh!) so when her baby poke me and tried to seize my satin tudung, I loose her fingers because I dont want my satin tudung to crumple. SIL then asked her baby to let go my tudung and said that she cannot wear shawls because her baby kept seize it. I just kept quiet. Not only that, husband told her that he cannot attending her baby because we dont have one and he is driving. So I add up, me too. I don't get used to have a baby. She said it is okay then and pretend telling her baby that 'nobody want to play with you'.
The evil inside me:
I don't know why I feel okay and happy doing that.
Thi is evil inside me.
I cannot being positive if I dont let it go and forgive her.
But in my defense, I still need time to forget. I need space to forgive myself of doing that.
In my defense, I also hug and kiss her baby but only when she is absent.
In my defense, if she not treated me like a threat, I will forget.
In my defense, her arrogance of bearing a cute child is blergh..She aware of that, she aware that she is nobody without her baby. Thus her haughtiness.
I hope I can forgive and forget.
And kill the evil inside me.

In La Tahzan (Don't Be Sad) book by 'Aaidh al-Qarni, he said that Do not grieve when you are shown overt enminty, for if  you forgive and forget, you will have achieved nobility in this world and honor in the next. "But whoever forgives and make reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah" (42:40)

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Yeay dapat update blog

Be patient. Be hopeful. No matter how dark the night is, daybreak will follow
-Mufti Menk-
  • Eid Mubarak to everyone. Dah lama tak mencoret di sini. There are a lot of things I want to share to you yet there are so many constraints. Apapun, I ask for your apology for my wrongdoing, if you feel offended by my writings/posts, believe me it is not meant to be offensive lebih2 lagi years before I selalu marah2 dan sindir-sindir mak-mak eksyen dan menyindir I, now dalam setahun dua ni dah kurang rasanya (Rasanya lah!). Minta maaf jika ada yang terasa jika I condemn sana-sini for things I take granted of.. Orang lain berbulan tak update tiba-tiba announce dah pregnant, while I'm here tak update sebab internet is not kind to me. Why la?!! . Oh and one more thing, I noticed most of the links I have in my blog semuanya dah ada baby.  Yang masih berusaha hanya beberapa kerat je..termasuklah si penulis..I know there are many blogs out there yang baru, but too busy to read, and most of them masih di peringkat depression lantaran usaha masih belum membuahkan hasil, dan baru setahun dua kahwin pula tu..Takpe dik.Usaha sampai berjaya.
  • My Raya? OK je la Alhamdulillah. Seminggu raya tak ada pun soalan sensitif tu. Tak ada. I know some relatives macam nak tanya, but then I made my poker face yang mematikan the urge to ask tuh. Ada la sorang sepupu ayah yang masa salam dengan orang lain selamat hari raya bagai but bila dia salam dengan I tiba-tiba dia buat muka sedih and buat muka simpati and doakan I. Not offended really but (readers out there -- on how to deal with your infertile friend/relatives) tak perlu buat macam tu. Treat us like a normal person. We all bukan pesakit terminally-ill yang menunggu masa kematian, infertility is not the end of the world. My respond - only wide smile and gelak je sebab lucu pula I rasa bila dia buat begitu. Patut sebut Ameen kan? Ah lupa pula. Rasa kelakar sebab mengenangkan pandainya la orang tua ni berlakon pada aku..boleh ubah mimik muka dan dialog on the spot..hihi..
  • Ini adalah tahun kelima Raya menjadi isteri so I think orang pun dah penat tanya kot. Sebab bila orang tanya, "Bila nak ada baby?" I just replied, "Tak tahu" (shrugged with stern voice). So soalan tu mati di situ. And bila orang tu balas balik, "ye la kan, belum rezeki lagi..", I balas "Tau tak pe" (also with poker face and stern voice). Plus I aware kalau orang tanya pun tak direct pada I, they will asked to my parents or parents in law or to my in laws. Ada juga bumped into my friend, dia tanya macam terkejut, "Berdua je ke?". Pun dengan poker face, "Ha,ah berdua". And I not bother to ask about her child. And it ends there.
  • And Alhamdulillah juga my body still maintain normal, bukan obese gemuk macam last year, but weight tak berubah. Pelik ah. Most of saudara mara semua menegur yang this year I dah kecil and cantik berbanding last year; dempak, tembam, besar. I cannot imagine la macam mana la gemuknya I last year. I thought tahun ni bila belasah makanan raya mesti badan naik, but Alhamdulillah again still maintain sebab mudah buang air besar. Dan juga I ambil makanan dalam small quantity, tapi mesti rasa semua. Minum madu (ada juga minum pati delima Ghulsan) setiap malam InsyaAllah esok pagi mudah buang air besar. Baju-baju semua masuk elok Alhamdulillah sangat.
  • One of thing yang buat I rasa I accept the Allah's decree adalah Allah kirimkan seseorang yang dah lama tak jumpa datang rumah parents before Ramadan haritu. My cousin (lelaki, not by blood, tapi by relationship sebab his mother adalah anak angkat my nenek) bumped into my mother kat rumah kenduri so my mother jemput ke rumah. Dia bawa isterinya dan ibubapa mertua serta seorang anak angkat berumur 4 tahun. My cousin actually is a divorcee so perkenalan mereka singkat before they get married. His wife Kak A pula adalah seorang berpangkat tinggi dalam bidang undang-undang, comel and happy go lucky tapi susah dalam jodoh, maka beliau menerima my cousin for marriage. Diuji lagi sekali, they not blessed with children.(On the other hand, my cousin dah ada 4 anak dengan bekas isteri dia). So dah 4 tahun kahwin, mereka ambil anak angkat lelaki, direcommend oleh kawan Kak A seorang doktor O&G. Budak tu dah besar dah pun. Now perkahwinan mereka menjangkau 9 tahun, and umur mereka pun dah mendekati hampir 40. So when my mother whining that I still not pregnant Kak A kata - kami still young boleh try lagi bukan macam dia dah expired (katanya sambil melawak). We also know the fact that adik Kak A pun have infertility problem, yang dah 7 tahun kahwin tapi masih belum punya anak. I looked and scrutinized Kak A, listened to all her chats sebab dia bit talkative, I realized that she embraces her life. Dia happy go lucky, cantik menjaga penampilan, chatty and suka ingat tarikh2 penting in her life. Cantik, berpendidikan tinggi, bergaji besar ribu ribu ribu but tested with soal jodoh lewat dan zuriat. "Which then of the bounties of your Lord will you deny'" (55:13). Her presence made me think kalau she can embraces life as it is, why I should not? Dia happy, why I'm not? Dia tak kisah bersuamikan seorang duda bergaji kecil and tak kisah pun ada anak angkat, why I care so much about that thing? She don't care if her life become talks of the town-- as if being infertile is a sin-- let people talk, and why should I care about people?  Lagipun suami, anak, harta, pendidikan, keluarga, wang simpanan, kecantikan, etc semuanya pinjaman dari Tuhan. Sekejap je hidup kita ni. Bila dia balik, I so wowed by her big vehicle, yang macam Alphard tu but not Alphard, tak ingat what is the car brand tapi besar gabak. Then bila dia balik, my mum pula merungut, "La..buat apa nak kereta besar2 bukan ada anak pun..?". So I replied, "Kenapa? Orang anak ramai je ke yang boleh pakai kereta besar? Orang tak ada anak pakai kereta Kancil, gitu? Dia mampu biarlah dia beli kereta besar, orang yang anak ramai Tuhan tak bagi pula kereta besar terpaksa berhimpit anak bergaduh kat belakang..". My mum stunned but actually I think dia cuma pelik je tengok kereta sebesar itu. haha.. 
  • Sememangnya her attendance and her presence made me think on how I should live in this world. Sampai bila nak meratap tak ada anak? Lagi 5 tahun? Lagi 10 tahun? Lagi 15 tahun? Sampai Abang Jamil mampus? Eh bosannya hidup kalau begitu. Bukan I sorang je tak ada anak. Plus, apa salahnya jika belum dikurniakan zuriat?  Bukan dosa. Lagipun life is not revolve around children. Ketidakhadiran anak dalam kehidupan sebenarnya memberi peluang kita meningkat amal untuk bekalan kita di dunia kekal abadi. Dunia yang ada ini sekarang ini yang kita duduk ni sementara sahaja. Sekejap je. Kenapa tak ada anak beri peluang untuk improve and increase our good deeds? Dalam hadis sahih ada dinyatakan 3 amalan tidak putus pahalanya : Sedekah jariah, ilmu yang bermanfaat dan doa anak yang saleh. Disebabkan tiadanya anak, maka saya harus mengejar dua lagi amalan yang menjadi investment untuk menambah saham di akhirat kelak selain dari amalan wajib, sunat dan fardhu kifayah.
  • Of course there are times (especially before AF/being asked with annoying questions/sarcasm) yang buat kita rasa depressed and melancholic sangat2. Sedih sebab life is not according to our plan. And of course there are people yang akan label us not being the 'perfect woman'. Benda ni merebak ke laman sosial dan media. I pernah tengok satu rancangan ni, this lady ni baru 2 tahun kahwin and dia buat IUI & IVF sebab dia kata "bukan perempuan sempurna kalau tak rasa mengandung, bersalin dan berpantang". I believe Facebook friend pun ada yang tulis macam tu kan? I banyak kali baca kat Facebook/Twitter/IG/Whatsapp, bila ada wanita mengadu lenguh pinggang dan bengkak kali, there will be comments like this "Bukan semua wanita dapat nikmat sakit yang Tuhan bagi tu, kita ni orang beruntung.." .. So means kita orang malang? Kita tak sempurna? Itu label dari siapa? Dari orang biasa.Yang anak mereka belum tentu saleh, dan belum tentu jadi jambatan dia ke syurga. Label tersebut bukan dari Allah dan bukan dari Rasulullah PBUH. Jadi jika ada yang mengatakan demikian kepada kita, jawab saja, "Jadi Siti Aisyah & isteri2 Nabi Muhammad yang lain tu tak sempurna ke? Mereka pun tidak berzuriat". Tambah lagi pedas, "tak baca sirah Nabi ke?" Erk..Dan jika in real life ada kawan2 yang asyik tanya/sindir pasal anak ni, jauhkan la diri. Pujuk diri dengan doa contohnya, "Tuhanku aku bukan buat kerana ingin memutuskan silaturahim, tetapi menjaga hatiku dari menyumpah dan membenci saudaraku itu. Moga dia berubah, Tuhan".
  • Rasanya past couple of years are not good years to me. Terlalu banyak ujian yang diterima tanpa disangka-sangka, membuatkan I terlupa seketika usaha TTC. Adalah sikit2 but not the significant one. Dan terasa betapa kecilnya ujian belum berzuriat ini. Betapa Tuhan Maha Mengetahui.
  • I ada jumpa satu couple ni - kawan husband dua-duanya. Cantik dan hensem bagai pinang dibelah dua. Asyik ralitnya I tengok diorang berdua tu like they were made for each other, living a good life but tested with zuriat. Since we both not a mother, the talk mostly on career and assets. My husband punya kawan2 ramai yang belum dikurniakan zuriat, compared to my friends, I boleh kira dengan jari siapa kawan2 I yang belum berzuriat. Husband punya rakan serumah dari zaman university sampailah rakan serumah masa kerja, boleh kira siapa yang dah berzuriat. Sampaikan I pernah bergurau dengan dia, "eh you dengan kawan2 you semua tak subur ke hapa, semua bini2 theyolls tak beranak.." Husband sengih je, shrugged "entah kenapa entah".
  • Now I'm reading La Tahnzan (Don't be Sad) by 'Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni published by International Islamic Publishing House. Buku ini adalah best sangat. Sesuai sangat untuk semua lebih-lebih lagi kita yang sering terasa lelah dengan ujian begini. Bukan setakat mencerita tentang sedih, diletakkan juga panduan bagaimana menghadapi kritikan, the arguments mainly from Quran and Sunnah, dan juga wise sayings from sahabah and ulama' and Western wise people too. Jika tiada constraint, akan share with you the excerpt from the book. Ada 476 pages semuanya and I baru baca mukasurat ke 156. Every words sangat 'kena' dengan kita.  

Later! (akan tulis lagi jika ada internet connection laju.) Oh sedihnya capaian internet laju adalah perkara asasi manusia sebenarnya. Huhuhu..

Infertility as expiation of sin: My personal thought

Reminder: Read at your own risk. As the title implies, this is my personal thoughts. It may sounds a little bit blasphemous but it is my ...