Thursday, 25 April 2013

Jom ubah mindset tentang kesuburan



Rasanya sekarang kita patut mengubah our mindset terhadap kesuburan dan ketidaksuburan. I bukan pengamal The Secret tegar, tetapi  I cannot denying that reading those books and collected stories from people around the world make me believe that sesungguhnya benarlah seperti firman Allah bermaksud lebih kurang begini: Aku tidak akan mengubah sesuatu kaum melainkan mereka mengubah diri mereka sendiri.


Walaupun I banyak buku-buku dan ebook sebegini, I still have no urge to change my self and my life. Selalu merungut. Sedangkan terlalu banyak nikmat Allah yang kita lupakan hanya kerana kita menumpukan fikiran dan tenaga kita untuk perkara yang merisaukan kita dan orang yang menyakitkan hati kita. Kalau nak kira, my AF sangat cantik. I dah jumpa doktor, tukang urut, ustaz- all of them said that we have no problem.


After this, I akan cuba menulis untuk motivasi diri kita terutama dalam pemikiran positif terhadap kesuburan untuk kita yang masih mencuba untuk conceive, dan I menyeru juga kepada warga2 TTC lain supaya kita dapat berkongsi ilmu dan memotivasikan satu sama lain supaya kita semua mendapat manfaat bersama-sama. Selalunya buku2 sebegini hanya memberi teori je kan, tetapi kita tak tahu nak mula dari mana. Ada satu buku dari Michael Losier memberi worksheets untuk kita buat latihan untuk kita mempositifkan diri kita dan juga I hope that we can share apps yang kita guna untuk positive thinking for fertility. I ada cari Fertility affirmations apps tapi jumpa satu je, (yang free punya tu la heehe), and ada beberapa apps yang bagus untuk kita buat kalau kita tak minat nak menulis di worksheets konvensional.


Ada beberapa tools/latihan berkala yang kita boleh buat untuk menukar mindset sebab our mind perlukan latihan. Memang ada beberapa orang yang boleh buat dalam masa 1 hari tapi minda kita yang tepu untuk jangka masa berpuluh tahun (macam I 29tahun) perlu dilatih. Some of the tools adalah affirmations (yang I ada tulis sebelum ni), visualization atau imagination/vision board, gratitude/gratitude journal, contrast practise, imaginasi sebelum tidur dan bangun tidur, allowing sheets, dan berbagai2 lagi. InsyaAllah I akan cuba tunjuk satu2 mengikut pemahaman I dan contoh2 dari luar negara.


Dan tak lupa juga beberapa amalan yang banyak TTC buat dan kongsikan dan macamana kita entangle those practises with amalan2 dari Quran dan Sunnah yang mana lebih berkesan kerana zat paling tinggi dan paling berkuasa adalah Allah.



Untuk permulaan, berikut adalah petikan dari The Secret tentang abundance in health.

Inilah yang I cuba sampaikan semalam, semakin banyak kita bercakap tentang infertility, makin teruk our fertility condition --provided that bila kita bercakap tentang infertility, kita always associate with negative vocabulary. Ok, kalau kita ingat perkataan fertility atau tiba2 orang sebut perkataan anak, apa emosi yang pop up dalam fikiran? Malu, tersisih, segan, hina, tak sempurna, kecewa, sedih, marah, sombong, dan lain-lain perasaan negative. Perasaan tu menjadi -ve vibes so memantul lebih teruk lagi kepada diri kita.

See.? Jadi kita kena ubah la mindset kita terhadap sesuatu perkara itu menjadi positive. Kalau kita sebut tentang fertility -  kita mesti excited, happy, exuberant, joy, smile, sempurna, seronok, --tak sabar jadi ibu. Seriously, bila dengar perkataan anak tu cuba bayangkan bau baby --sungguh mengasyikan.

See? Kita dah tukar our emotion dan we change our vibes so the vibes will bounce back to us. That's why kita selalu dengar orang yang TTC lama, then bila dapat anak satu, kemudian berderet2 anak dia sampai terpaksa buat family planning.




Anti-war create more war
Anti-drug create more drug
Untuk create peace, we have to promote peace like Mother Teresa
Kalau promote anti LGBT, makin ramai pulak secara terbuka support LGBT


Ok, kalau kita perhatikan dua-dua poster di bawah ini, which one yang kita patut promote?




16 comments:

  1. thank you! thank you for this post.. lets spread the positive vibes among us.. i support you on this.. hehe..

    as for me, sekarang i tengah seronok-seronok buat plush toys which obviously for children. and pray that one day, i can make those toys for my own kids.. seriously, tak da rasa nak marah, tak da rasa nak menyalahkan takdir kata why, why aku tak ada anak, kalau tak boleh buat toys and dresses and soft car toys for them..instead, it makes me happy sebab i involve in kids thing walaupun tak ada anak. :)

    as for the posters, i go for the second one..

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    1. I wish I have the talent like you to make hobby as business.

      In the kids involvement department, I serahkan pada husband sebab dia ramai anak sedara. I still tak pandai on how to treat children.ish..

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  2. Replies
    1. Yup exactly. actually the 1st poster tu pun dah menunjukkan fertility is something need to be highlighted including people like us

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  3. I really love ur entry :-) seems u read a lot n i luv it because u did your research n linked it back to the islamic point of view. Pls do keep writing ya...

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    Replies
    1. InsyaAllah if the time permit me to do so. I enjoy writing and reading.

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  4. Replies
    1. Alhamdlulillah hopefuly I can disseminate only the positive things

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  5. Salam,

    Somehow after reading your blog post by post i feel less alone, I too have been married for more than three years and have not once gotten pregnant, but I have not given up! trust me from doctors to tukang urut (I thought I was gonna die through being urut it was so painful) to gulping down all sorts of medication and even going for a surgery to remove a cyst. But I truly believe that Allah has something for all of us, if I (or we) were not meant to have children so be it, I might have fairy babies in (Insyallah) Jannah. I cannot deny that TTC is absolutely frustrating, that last day of your cycle when you hope and pray that the spot of blood on your underwear is you spotting and not the beginning of a menstrual cycle. But I pray for you and your husband, insyaAllah your prayers will be granted, with the maternal instinct kicking in who knows kan? As of now I have recently discover buah zuriat and this is only my second day drinking it, I hope it works - it doesnt hurt to ikhtiar kan? anyways best of luck xoxo ayesyah

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    1. Best of luck with buah zuriat.

      Me too, I will not give up. Will babydance with husband sampai tua..haha..I also thought the tukang urut is way too rough on us..sakit ya amat. somehow pergi facial kena umpil jerawat/blackheads by the beautician pun still the pain is bearable, tapi dengan tukang urut memang sakit. I wish you are granted with baby(ies) and I hope that my writing will not annoy you much sebab banyak sangat revulsion here. Tapi sekarang i cuba tukar.

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  6. Dear sis, thanks for the entry. Now i realise that i have focus on infertility so much untill i forgot what i REALLY should focus at. U give some light and i feel so ease like a big burden just come out inside from me after reading this.

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    1. if it can do so, I would be delighted. Moga2 lepas ni ada rezeki, allah sebaik2 perancang. Bak kata pujangga, "If your dream not come true, God has the better plan for you".

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  7. follower no.100
    done follow here,
    do follow me back?..=)

    http://tengkubutang@blogspot.com/ -->(official)
    http://kucenkucenbelog.blogspot.com/ -->2nd blog

    ReplyDelete