Friday, 23 November 2012

Affirmation and fertility boost



As I wrote here, our mind is closely related with our body health and state. Means, kalau kita nak nak jadi ibu, we should visualize the motherhood. Tapi susah kan nak imagine ada anak padahal belum ada anak. Jadi Visual Board or Vision Board sangat membantu untuk kita visualize. Selain daripada doa kepada Allah, salah satu cara untuk kita practice to boost fertility adalah by affirmation.

Dari pembacaan  I, affirmation ni adalah tool yang sangat berkuasa dalam positive thinking. Untuk memudahkan apprehension, I recommend to all of you download e-book/apps ke entah, tajuk dia "Affirmation: Using Affirmations for Success". Tak besar pun file tu. Kalau I rasa down, memang I akan baca e-book ni sebab ia summarize the techniques of affirmation. Memang banyak buku di luar sana yang tebal2 tapi this is the summarization yang kita boleh baca on-the-go dalam masa 30-ish minutes. Affirmation adalah statements yang we believe it is true, not we hope it is true or we wish it to be true. Contohnya kalau nak jadi kaya, kita patut buat affirmation "I am wealthy", bukan "I want to be wealthy", sebab otak akan mentafsirkan kita 'hendak' jadi kaya..Hendak je la, kayanya tidak. Ataupun "I will be a wealthy person"..Will kat situ maksudnya akan datang. akan datang tapi entah bila. But, macam dalam e-book ni cakap, postive thinking is the simplest thing but the hardest thing. Yelah, duit dalam tangan katalah tinggal RM200 je, tu nak kata kaya? haha..but, the idea is kita affirm with the universe we are wealthy and let the universe do all the actions. Itu dari segi wealthiness. Affirmation boleh diaplikasikan dalam semua aspek. Semua. Semua.


Saya ada google affirmation + fertility. Memang ramai sangat wanita yang dah bertahun2 mencuba with all drugs and treatments still tidak berjaya tetapi dengan mengamalkan affirmation ni, ramai yang berjaya. Ada yang sebulan cuba dah berjaya, ada yang 3,4 bulan cuba baru pregnant, ada juga yang saya baca sampai setahun lebih mengamalkan affirmation ni baru lah berjaya pregnant. Diingatkan affirmation & positive thinking tidak memberi hasil segera tapi it works. The point is, you must have faith. Kalau baca secara saintifik, rupanya bila kita adaptasi positive thinking with our life, ada hormon yang dirembeskan oleh badan kita yang merespon terhadap our thinking tadi. Kalau kita takut dengan kemiskinan, we keep thinking about it, we indirectly attract kemiskinan. So bila kita dah bersiap bagai nak rak, nak rebut tender (for example) atau nak dapat client, orang tengok kita macam tak berkenan je ataupun people assume us the least prospect sedangkan kita tahu we do our best.



Same goes to fertility, bila kita keep focusing on infertility, secara tak langsung badan kita merespon terhadap infertility sebab our hormone and receptor tak boleh bezakan yang mana satu yang kita hendak atau yang mana satu kita tak nak sebab dia cuma boleh receive vibration which is our thoughts. Our thoughts mesti come from our affirmation. Our affirmation and thoughts has become command to them. And that's why bila kita nak pregnant, kita mesti focus our thoughts, energy and focus to be a mother. Or act as if. That's why bila ada pasangan yang adopt anak angkat, mereka merasa gembira dan act as a real parent to the adopted child. Lepas tu, tup-tup the wife tu pregnant pulak. That's the yield of happiness (stress -free) dan action mereka as a parent. Tapi bukanlah suruh semua orang adopt, banyak lagi cara kita boleh buat affirmation macam ibu2 yang berjaya tu.


Bagaimana nak buat affirmation?

1) Ini pun melalui pembacaan jugak, tulis hari2 dalam phone ke (dalam protected diary ke, dalam password protected pad ke), dalam diary ke..Sebab memang susah kita nak tukar our thoughts. yelah dah bertahun2 menghadapi sindiran dan kata-kata orang, jadi kita merasa terdesak. Ha..perasaan terdesak dan perasaan 'need' tu pun adalah spoiler atau perosak kepada affirmation and vibration. Sebab bila kita rasa terdesak, thoughts and vibration bukan pada motherhood or pregnancy, tapi pada desperation. Nampak tak beza di situ? Sebab tu lah, kadang2 bila benda yang paling kita nak segera tak dapat, tapi bila  kita nak tanpa segera, eh muncul pulak. Balik semula pada asal, susah kita nak tukar mindsetting so ini cara paling senang (menulis) supaya our sub-consious mind dilatih untuk menerima our affirmations/vibes/thoughts. Contohlah kan, kalau kita nak train dog "Sit!". Hari2 kita kena train dia 'sit' baru dia faham. Tak boleh kalau kita cakap 'sit' sekali esok lusa dia faham terus sampai bila2..ini contoh analogy la..maksudnya kita kena menulis affirmation ni sampai ia implant in our mind and our subconsious mind. Macam yang kita tahu sub-concious mind adalah yang paling penting berbanding concious mind (boleh google kepoweran subconcious mind).

2) Bila bangun tidur, make sure dalam separa sedar kita implantkan our affirmation. Hm..bab ni I memang masih kalah, bila bangun tidur tengok perut kempis terus macam down cakap pada diri sendiri 'la..aku tak pregnant..kalau ada anak, mesti confirm terbangun sebab anak nangis nak nyusu..'..Inilah yang masih terimplant dalam kepala I bila I bangun tidur, which is the biggest mistake. I masih cuba nak implant new affirmation ni.  Dikatakan masa baru bangun tidur nilah our sub-concious mind berada dalam keadaan alpha yang bertindak lebih responsif terhadap our body.

3) I baca dalam buku mana entah, ia tertulis mengatakan kalau we want something, the best time untuk kita meditasi sambil affirmation adalah dalam pukul 4,5 pagi. Sebab vibrasi pada masa tu adalah yang paling kuat sekali, yang mana our body and universe will respond to the max. Tapi perasan tak, kita sebenarnya telah diberi peluang lebih baik oleh Allah. I think solat tahajud & solat hajat pada waktu tersebut sambil diiringi munajat kepada Allah adalah lebih baik dari meditasi. Don't you think so? SubhanAllah. My mum pernah buat,(tapi bukan minta anak) tapi dia minta rumah besar. Haha..Yelah, kami duduk at Klang Valley with high living cost, mak I langsung tak kerja, part time job pun takde, source of income ayah I sorang..and everyone looked down at us sebab kami beli makanan sikit2 je..Mak cerita dia teringin nak renovate rumah, sebab our home is corner lot boleh la nak renovate bagi besar. Dia kata dia bangun waktu2 tersebut, solat malam dan keluar rumah tadah tangan menuju langit mohon rumah kami turn into bungalow. Alhamdulillah, mudah sedara mara dan family datang bermalam dan berkumpul ramai2 berkenduri kendara di rumah kami. Ini bukan berlagak tau, I cuma terfikir yang mak selalu suruh kami bangun solat malam walaupun hanya tahajud 2 rakaat tapi malasnya yaAllah..


Banyak lagi tips untuk affirmation and positive thinking to boost fertility tapi kita sambung kemudian la ye..kalau ada rakan2 lain yang ada experience doing this, you are welcome to share them in the comment box, sama2 kita help each other..I sendiri pun baru nak practise religiously ni. My Vision Board pun most of them tak lengkap I simpan dalam phone.  I ada baca dari blog Jay tentang kejayaan dia pregnant dengan cara ini (one of the effort) dalam entri dia yang ini. Begitu juga dengan JD yang conceive naturally dan testimoninya tentang mind power tu. I wish she elaborate more on her methodologies in applying mind power with fertility. Dia ada suruh buat Vision Board as in my previous entry.  Lagi satu Ninie Ahmad the yoga guru yang juga pengamal affirmation. Dari blog dia, I baca some of her students yang TTC pun belajar affirmation dari dia and they got pregnant! Seronok kan..I ada baca juga ada woman yang tak ada uterus/tiub (tak sure la which one, tak ingat) dia tahu semua doktor kata she cannot be a mom, dan dia mengamalkan affirmation ni dan her baby is born healthily. I nak tanya jugalah pada TTC yang berjaya, what were you thinking before you get pregnant..or how you perceive yourself before you got pregnant? nak tahu la juga, kot2 ada tambahan yang boleh kita share sama2 dan boleh practice..



Ok contoh-contoh mudah affirmation yang boleh kita tiru adalah seperti berikut, I copy dari Natural-Health-For-Fertility. Boleh kalau nak pilih2 yang mana suka, yang mana sesuai dengan kita..


Affirmations for Physical Healing


Affirmations to Release Mental Blocks


Affirmations for Emotional Healing



Affirmations on Lifestyle Changes




Affirmation to Manifest a Baby

Affirmations for Fertility and Angel
 

Thursday, 22 November 2012

2 different stories






I will move back to Peninsula and so do my husband. A thousand blessing and indescribable, it happened unexpectedly and we are so grateful. Soon, we will saying goodbye to Borneo.


Story 1

There is a friend of ours, pengantin baru, bunting pelamin, yang nak tengok2 dan survey rumah yang kami sewa sekarang ni. Sebabnya rumah yang mereka duduki sekarang ini sangat kecik, mahal sewanya, siling rendah, tiada barrier antara living room dan sinki dapur, dan sangat panas. The wife ni masa pregnant 9 bulan ni dia sangat kepanasan duduk dalam rumah tu, sampai husbandnya belikan aircond. Tapi still no avail. Nak pindah rumah so bakal anak mereka tak la lemas kepanasan, according to them.  To cut the story short, they agreed to rent this house and they will move in by January 2013. I made some cake to serve them, because our home now is a mess, swamped with boxes. We chit-chatted little bit about neighbours, about home defects and so on.

I and the wife talked about her pregnancy, tunggu masa melahirkan. I rubbed her belly and said, "Oh your belly is cute, your body is not expanded much. It is a girl?"
"Yes, we did the scan and doctor confirmed it is a girl!"
 I rubbed her belly again, "And that's why your belly is cute. You are not fat either, and your face is not swollen much"
She smiled but her husband interuppted, "Alah banyak lemak tu!"
She stunned and making a face. I on the other hand suddenly possessed a mulut bertih Mak Joyah to cover the awkwardness. Her husband tasted the cake I made.
He said, "OMG this is so sweet. My tooth aches"
I replied, "Indeed, I want to clear out all of our food stocks so I pour all of the sweetener."
And both of them raised their arse to go back home, and the husband said, "Thanks for the cake. Manis sangat kek ni, macam orangnya".
I just want to shut him up, "Alah kan orang laki suka makan manis2.."

After they left, my husband repeated the saying, "manis macam orangnya.." to tease me.  I asked him if he is jealous about the 'sweet thingy', he admitted he is jealous and can't believe it happened. I asked him about the 'fat thingy (pasal lemak)', explained to him that I don't want him to hear that so that I become mulut bertih. He heard it all but pretended like he 's a deaf with a purpose not to humiliate the wife.


My husband wondered,"I don't know what is the feeling of his wife, heard his husband undermine her by saying about 'fat' in front of other woman, and to add the salt, her husband praise another woman in front of her. I can't imagine."

Me too. I can't imagine if my husband did so. So far Alhamdulillah husband never do that to me. If he don't satisfies with my appearance, he will inform me and tell me his opinion. I never receive any embarassing remarks from him in front of others.He is honest, he never like other man saying, "I'm okay if you fat, I accept you as the way you are"...No my husband not like that. He concerns on my appearance. He always sent me to spa or salon for facial, sauna or hair treatment. He willingly pull out any acne or blackhead if they appear on my skin..And the best thing, he promise to send me to slimming treatment to treat my 'spare tyre'  next month. OMG I can't believe this, this is the best anniversary gift. eh kantoi terpecah rahsia hadiah anniversary.kih kih.

If you wonder how his wife is look like, let me give the surface decription.
She is short, have dark skin and quite rotund.

But I still can't imagine how blatantly the husband made that kind of remarks. I still can't accept that kind of temerity. I may not a child-bearer for now but I'm blessed with a husband, a real husband.




Story 2

Remember this friend , Rui that I wrote here? That she always said that she want to introduce her children to me, or should I say she want to show off her offspring to me?

Um..actually she always wanna meet me. But I always make excuses. Frankly I don't want to see her. I choose not to meet her because I don't want to be hurt.

However, one day I have no excuse anymore. We made a deal that we will met at Starbucks. I arrived Starbucks but I didn't saw her, so I and husband decided to have a lunch at Kenny Rogers. She replied saying like she arrived at the mall. I texted her that I will joined her afterwards at Starbucks. After lunch, we waited for her for freaking fu*king 4 hours!

She called me then, and I asked her about her plan. She, as I expected, explained that she at the hotel and if I want to see her, I have to wait another extra hours at Starbucks or wait until her kids woke up from sleep. She whined, "Ada anak susah tau!"..(eleh macam kau sorang ada anak). Or I can met her at hotel.

I'm so furious but decided that is the last time I met her. Last time. No more.

I went to the hotel, and as expected she just want to show off to me that she is so rich and can afford to spend a big room to accomodate her kids and her maid. When she informed me the hotel name, I told her that I will met her there because I wanna go back home to pack our boxes. She asked me then, "Do you know this hotel?"
OMG do you think that I never can afford that kind of hotel room or I am so kuno never been to hotel..



I arrived there but husband still furious don't want to join me to meet her. She introduced her kids, her husband and her maid to me. Okay. And then what? She said she want to know updates from me and asked about some of my friends.  Yeah there are my friends who still single and still childless, but when I told her about that, she made the frowing and annoying face that I cannot imagine, make me want to puke!
"You rent a flat or terrace house?"
"You come here by car or motorcycle?"
"What car did you bought?"
"How much salary do you earn here?"
"Why you want to go back to Peninsula?"
"Why you still have no kids?"


What kind of questions are that? You brag on your perfect life but sorry I don't respect you at all. In fact, I looked down to your lack of communication skills. Your conversation topics and questions are shallow.


So I asked her about her updates, and as I expecting, she just want to show off her offspring.

We took some photos and she said like this,
"Bang, could you please take our photos."
"Dear, boleh kah my kids bergambar sekali?". So I took her kids on my lap.
She said,"Ambil gambar cantik2 ya bang, biar dia tengok kat rumah nanti dia jeles kita ada dua orang anak dia tak ada. Biar dia tunjuk pada husband dia, biar dia & husband dia jeles."

Memang aku rasa nak campak je anak kau dari peha aku!




Mode : menyampah dan marah
 

Friday, 9 November 2012

Memahamkan ibu bahawa kita ini 'lain'.





**Cerita lama. Tapi kesannya mak I dah kurang sikit 'kebisingan'nya pasal I belum ada anak

Masa Raya hari tu, family saya  dan kami suami isteri pergi rumah sepupu mak. Sampai2, terus sepupu mak tu tanya "Tak beranak lagi?"
Saya jawab "Tak ada".
Dia tunjuk anak lelaki dia (nama samaran : Abang Lan) , "Ha...nanti kau jadi macam dia tu haaa.."
Abang Lan jawab dengan lemahnya, "Belum rezeki lagi....."


Isteri abang tu kat belakang, langsung tak ke depan salam kami. Then makcik tu cakap dengan kami, "Isteri dia tu (dia: anak lelaki dia) jenis tak mesra dengan orang." Mak sambut, "Tak apa la.."


Sampai di meja makan, makcik tu sambung lagi, "Tu lah, dah suruh ambil anak angkat, dia tak mahu.."
Mak jawab, "Ye la kak, anak angkat ni bila dah besar problem aurat.."
Makcik tu tak setuju,"Alah..susukan la..jadi anak susuan.."
Mak sambut lagi, "Kadang-kadang kasihnya tak sama, kalau anak angkat tu buat hal, mak bapak angkat terlepas cakap kasar..maklumlah anak angkat.."
Makcik tu sambung lagi, "Dah jumpa doktor, dua-dua tak ada problem. Dah 15 tahun kawin tu. Anak engkau ni dah berapa tahun kawin (i la tu)?"
Mak jawab, "Dah 2 tahun lebih.."
Makcik tu, "Anak si Timah (bukan nama sebenar) tu sama kawin dengan dia (tunjuk i) dah dua anaknya."


Semua terus makan..Malas nak layan.


Kemudian I pergi depan. Mak dan sepupu kepochinya tu berborak berdua. Balik.


Dalam kereta, mak mengadu (hasil dari perbualan mereka), rupanya2 adik beradik dan sepupu sepapat mereka (duduk dekat2), mostly semuanya mengalami kematian anak- ada yang eksiden, ada yang sakit, ada yang demam sehari terus masuk wad dan meninggal, ada yang mati dalam tidur, ada yang lari langsung tak balik2, etc


Saya yang masih marah dengan makcik kepochi tu terus cakap,
"Hah tu la, agaknya masing2 semua pernah mengata abang Lan dah 15 tahun kawin tak beranak, Tuhan ambil anak diorang masing2!. Cerita pergi Mekah berdegar2, tudung labuh macam Batman, tapi mulut hanyir!Cash Tuhan bagi!"



Mak terdiam. Semua terdiam dalam kereta. Mak sambung dengan lemahnya, "ye la agaknya la kot.."


Ayah nak neutralkan keadaan, dia buat statement, "Si Lan tu badannya besar ya, macam Hulk Hogan. Dulu kecik je dia."


Mak gelak2, sambut "Iya kan bang..dulu kecik, sekarang besar betul badan dia.."


Saya menjawab lagi, "Mak ayah ingat, badan Abang Lan tu besar dia makan banyak ke? Entah-entah dia telan pil doktor (i maksudkan pil kesuburan) mana kita tahu. Orang mengata macam-macam, yang sengsara orang macam kami la. Ingat isteri Abang Lan tu tak mesra sebab dia sombong ke? Dia segan dan malu tau, orang asyik tanya pasal dia tak beranak, terus dia malas jumpa orang..Telan pil kesuburan ni buat badan naik tahu tak? Mak tahu tak Aunty Minah (bukan nama sebenar, isteri adik mak) tu gemuk sebab dia telan pil doktor nak anak? Dia cerita sendiri dengan saya tahu! 13 tahun nak dapat anak kedua dia tu, dah macam2 benda dia telan, mak dengan adik beradik mak bukan tahu, tahu mengata dia gemuk je.."


Mak terkejut. "makan pil doktor tu badan naik ye..? Oh ye ke..la mak tak tahu..patutlah badan kau naik mendadak.."


"Yelah! Takkan semua usaha nak cerita kat orang. Mengada lah semua benda nak cerita kat orang."


Ayah diam je, dan mak sambung lagi, "hm...tak payah la kau makan pil2 doktor tu lagi, anggap je la belum rezeki..kalau yang tradisional tak ada ke?"

"Ada, tu la yang saya tengah usaha sekarang. Tapi takkan nak cerita. Mak pun jangan la tiap kali saya cerita pada mak, mak pergi tepon semua adik beradik mak, cerita kat kawan-kawan surau mak..Saya boleh terima, tapi suami saya belum tentu dia terima.."

Husband menyampuk, "Mulut orang kan..belum kawen bising anak dara tak laku, dah kawen bising pasal anak.."

I sambung, "Huh, mak puji la sepupu mak tu, saya tetap tak suka dia..!"

Mak pertahankan sepupu dia, "La..apesal pulak..dia bukan kata kau je, dia mengata anak dia jugak.."

I lawan lagi, "Sebab Abang Lan tu anak yang baik la Abang Lan dengan bini dia tu sanggup berulang dari rumah sepupu mak tu ke tempat kerja dia (rumah ke tempat kerja ambil masa sejam, sebab Abang Lan ni nak jaga mak dia, padahal Abang ni dah ada rumah sendiri yg dekat dengan tempat kerja dia), kalau anak lain yang kecik hati dengan mulut mak dia, dah lama agaknya sepupu mak tu kebulur sorang2 dalam rumah dia."


Terdiam. Sampai terlelap. Tau2 dah sampai rumah.


Rasanya ni lah I kali pertama macam melawan dan tinggi suara pada mereka. selalunya, I just like "ala mak.." or "ye la mak.." or "mak tak faham...".. Hasilnya, mereka dah faham.Faham yang jalan hidup kami tak serupa dengan pasangan lain. Faham yang bahawasanya perkara ini jangan digelak-gelakkan, jangan dihina-hinakan, jangan dipertikaikan, dan lebih baik tak payah cakap apa-apa pun lagi bagus..

Friday, 2 November 2012

Marie Antionette and 7-years childless marriage

 
 
Marie-Antoinette: This is ridiculous.
Comtesse de Noailles: This, Madame, is Versailles
-from Marie Antoinette (2006)


I re-watched the Marie Antoinette film starring by Kirsten Dunst last week . I love to watch the extravagance and opulent film like this just to see what kind of shoes and dresses the actors wore or just to enjoy the luxurious decoration and embroideries of their fabrics. I cannot help myself love the period film. Marie Antoinette is a princess from Austria and marrying Louis XVI from France as to promote alliance between these two countries. Both of them got married in 15 and 16 years old, respectively.

[picture source]


I love Marie Antoinette because of her fascinating stories, which you can read everywhere online. But what is intriguing me is she suffers of 7 years childless marriage. Marie Antoinette marrying Louis which was the heir of the throne. Louis also has a married brother. Both Marie Antoinette and Louis has not consummated their marriage until 7 years. To cut the story short, Louis cannot penetrated due to the phimosis. Marie Antoinette was facing depression because she had no signs of pregnancy and futhermore, her own mother from Austria kept blaming her for inability to charm her own husband. There are other speculations and theories but it all agreed (based on the letters, doctor's diagnosis and meeting with elder brother of Marie Antoinette) that both of them are healthy and no infertility problem but they are just too shy (due to their young age) and ignorance. Of phimosis, Louis has been consulted to do operation but he was too afraid to go under the needle.



Her husband (Louis) on the other hand, kept busying himself with hunting and making keys.
She told her husband (more or less like this)- I hope we can have our own child because if your brother have a child first, I will be embarassed in this palace and in the court. To much to her despair, Louis brother's wife gave birth of a son. She and the whole royal family celebrated the arrival of the baby but secretly, she cringed in agony. Moreover, she was bombarded with insultation like 'You are barren' and 'When you will produce heir?'


[picture source]

Marie Antoinette was so frustated with her dull duties and ridiculous customs, she befriend with the Yolande de Polignac although she has been advised and been warned that Yolande de Polignac can harmed her reputation. She said, however, the Duchess made her happy. She also involved in gambling, lavish partying, sneaking out at midnight, went to army ball, being gastronomics, and ordered a lot of lavish dresses, hats, wigs and shoes.
 


[picture source]




Her elder brother coming to visit her and consult with Louis on their marriage. And after that, he agreed to have operation on treating his phimosis. Soon after that, Marie Antoinette has gave birth of a beautiful daughter Marie Theresa Charlotte. She told her daughter, "Oh, you were not what was desired, but that makes you no less dear to me. A boy would have been the Son of France, but you, Marie Thérèse, shall be mine.". .To note, she gave birth of four children (2 sons and 2 daughters).



I reckon this is the best site to read the biography of Marie Antoinette. She is an ill-fate queen, treated unjustly, a black sheep for political alliance and been punished by the French Revolution appallingly.

Thursday, 1 November 2012

Stand

 
 
I’ll hold on (stand)
I’ll be strong (stand)
God will step in (stand)
And it won't be long (you just)
- Stand, by Katherine McPhee and Leslie Osdoom in Smash (Episode: Preview)
Originally preformed by Donnie McClurkin
 
 
 
 
I've watched the re-run of Smash at Diva 702 last night.And the song that captured my attention is this song, which I thought is closely related with our journey. God has a plan, God will step in and it won't be long. InsyaAllah.
 





What do you do when you've done all you can and it seems like you can't make it through?
And what do you say when your friends turn away, and you're all alone?


Tell me, what do you give then you've given your all, and it seems like you can't make it through? Well you just stand when there's nothing left to do


You just stand Watch the lord see you through
Yes after you've done all you can, You just stand


Tell me what do you do when you've given your all
And it seems, it seems like You can't make it through?
Well, you just stand, when there's nothing left to do


You just stand Watch the Lord see you through
Yes, after you've done all you can You just stand.


Stand and be sure Be not entangled in that bondage again
You just stand and endure. God has a purpose. God has a plan.


Tell me what do you do when you've done all you can and it seems like you can't make it through? Child you just stand
Through the storm (stand),
Stand through the rain (stand)
Through the hurt (stand),
Stand through the pain (you just)


I’ll hold on (stand)
I’ll be strong (stand)
God will step in (stand),
And it won't be long (you just)


After you done all you can you just stand


Credit to: Youtube and AZLyrics