Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Review Filem - What To Expect When You're Expecting




"You pee on a stick. It's pretty idiot proof."
What to Expect When You're Expecting




I swore before that I don't want to watch this movie, let alone read the book. The film released months ago, but only have guts to watch this yesterday.
 
This  movie is basically translated from the best-selling pregnancy guide with the same title. Actually I wanna see Cameron Diaz with a bump and Anna Kendrick (yang jadi friend of Bella Swan dalam Twilight) and Chace Crawford (yang jadi Nate in Gossip Girl). It potrays the 5 couples whose facing the ups and downs of become parents yang melalui pengalaman yang berbeza.
 
Cameron Diaz, a TV fitness guru dating Matthew Morrison (yang jadi Schuester dalam Glee), (I tak ingat nama watak mereka dalam filem) seorang produser and penerbit TV dance show. Mereka berdating semasa menari bersama dalam rancangan Celebrity Dance show di mana mereka berjaya menjadi juara. Masa terima trophy, Cameron Diaz tak tahan morning sickness terus muntah dalam piala tu masa siaran langsung. Lucu.
 
Another couple is Jennifer Lopez seorang freelance professional photographer, focusing on maternity and newborn photoshoot , sudah berkahwin , yang berusaha untuk mengambil anak angkat dari Ethiopia. Dijangkakan proses adoption take a year but they manage to have the adoption lebih awal and this scare her husband. Jennifer Lopez always asked her husband to join the father's playdate. Dia telah menghabiskan sebanyak 401K untuk IVF and have a bad quality egg.
 
Another couple is Elizabeth Banks yang TTC for 2 years, she is a breastfeeding author babyhood businesswoman. Dikurnikan seorang suami yang sangat penyayang. Masa mengetahui dirinya hamil, dia sangat gembira dan mereka berdua berjumpa dengan ayah suaminya to declare the news. Ayah suaminya adalah seorang yang sangat kaya dan mempunyai isteri muda yang lebih muda dari Elizabeth Banks.
 
The other couple is ayah mertua Elizabeth Banks(tak ingat nama dia, but starred by Dannis Quaid) dan isteri mudanya. Masa Elizabeth Banks dan suaminya declaring the great news, ayahnya yang dah tua dan isteri muda itu pun turut memberitahu khabar gembira dengan kehamilan kembar.  The father is potrayed to be a competitive even to his own son and this make the Elizabeth Banks and her husband cringed.
 
Another couple is yang sangat muda, Anna Kendrick dan Chance Crawford yang one night stand but Anna Kendrick found out she is pregnant. Chace took the responsibility. However, masa tengah tidur, Anna Kendrick mengalami keguguran. Sejak dari itu, Anna Kendrick said to Chace, "Congratz, now you are off from the hook"
 
 



Some of interesting scenes:

  • Cameron Diaz terlalu suka research about everything hatta untuk decision for curcimcise the baby. Dia dan boyfriendnya argue on everything about their babies.
  • I rasa annoyed dengan babak Dannis Quaid (orang tua tu, bapa mertua Elizabeth Banks) dengan isteri mudanya yang buat lakonan depan anak menantunya dah TTC for 2 years- lakonan tu menunjukkan dia sharp shooter 'bang, bang!'..then the wife hembus the pistol jari husband dia like Bond Girl. Ceh!..
  • Suka sangat babak Elizabeth Banks yang mengalami alahan teruk, mood swings dan pregnancy hormones yang menggila. Lebih stress, bila dia tengok ibu mertua dia yang mengandung kembar tu adalah sangat glowing, pakai heels,no cellulite and sangat cantik. And their plan to have the Mini Cooper theme for baby shower pun telah 'dicuri' oleh ibu mertuanya tanpa sedar dengan invitation cards yang lebih extravagance. Masa dia dijemput untuk beri talks di satu expo dia tanpa segan silu mengakui yang dia inginkan pregnancy glow like in magazine. I just wanted the glow. The one that they promise you on the cover of those magazines. She said, "Well, I'm calling it - pregnancy sucks. Making a human being is really hard. I have no control over my body or my emotions". The talks however telah direkodkan dan disiar di YouTube dan ditonton rampantly. Dia sangat takut kalau video itu menjunamkan businessnya tapi husbandnya sangat darling dan it turn out semua wanita menyukai video itu kerana menonjolkan sisi faktual kepada pregnancy dan serta merta menjadi selebriti kegemaran ramai.
  • I suka juga babak di mana Jennifer Lopez dan suaminya pergi ke Ethiopia bersama-sama pasangan lain untuk adoption. Mereka membuat ikrar janji untuk menyayangi anak tersebut dan mungkin sebab Jennifer Lopes herself is a mom, lakonannya menjadi ibu penyayang sangatlah berkesan. Sebelum itu, dia hilang pekerjaan dan there was also a rigmarole dari pihak adption yang terpaksa dilalui oleh mereka.
  • Masa bersalin, 3 of the couple bersalin di hospital yang sama. Cameron Diaz beranak normal tapi agak susah sedikit namun berjaya melahirkan anaknya dan terus boyfriendnya propose. Elizabeth Banks mulanya tak mahu epidural tapi kesakitannya menyebabkan dia beralah kepada epidural dan terpaksa dibedah walaupun Elizabeth Banks mempunyai rancangan bersalinnya sendiri. Pendek kata, dia dah plan semua. Ibu mertuanya pula langsung tak merasa sakit nak bersalin siap boleh gelak2 lagi dengan husband tua dia. Masa nak beranak kembar tu, dia teran2 then dia rasa nak bersin, masa bersin terus terkeluar anak pertama. Masa ni memang I gelak2.
  • I tak suka statement dari playdate bapa2 tu pada suami Jennifer Lopez, husband dia ni macam buntu samada being a father is a good decision tapi bapa2 tu judge dia  by saying "you are on the other side." ..Oh I terasa sebab ada juga orang cakap macam tu pada I. Lantak.
  • Anna Kendrick and Chace Crawford pula have a formal date to continue their relationship. Elizabeth Banks yang nak pregnancy glow sebelum tu, masa baby dia lahir, she said, "this is actually my glow..".

I like this film, tapi tahan je la dengan baby-craze world. Anyhow, ia menunjukkan the different journey of parenthood and it is a very good movie dengan lakonan mantap dari semua pelakon. More info: IMDb

Tuesday, 23 October 2012

STFU Parents

 
Yes, having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. ~Bill Cosby, Fatherhood




I'm not an ambassador for this blog, but if you have free time, please do click the link of STFU Parents.



I forgot the link but I read an article of oversharing among parents in social network which closely related with this blog. The author of the article said that the sharing and oversharing is different but there is a very thin line between sharing and oversharing. I stumbled upon this blog last year but not read it religiously . However in recent months the blogger caught the media attention.


To note, this blog is not another chidlfree blog but it focusing on the trends among parents who over-share everything about parenthood (including the gross one). The blogger is not a mom but she want to be one in the future.


I can never read all entries but this blog is amusing and entertaining. I think that it can become a guide for parents on what to share and what not in social networking sites. I hope the parents do not feel offended by the blog because I, the non-mommy also feel that the child-craze world today is too much.  I cannot escape being jugdmental when I saw posts from parents in Facebook/Twitter that said like "My mom is beautiful" or "I cannot accept when people not compliment my child".  I have nieces and nephews from husband's side but I think I am an unfriendly aunt. I never coax them if they crying and leave them when they fighting over toys. I know that it is unnatural when I can see faces of my brother or sister in law, which express somewhat like 'Why-never-offer-help' or  'No-motherhood-instinct' look to me but I brush it off by giving 'It's-not-my-child,-they-are-yours' look.


I think the non-mommies like us will have this feeling but we try to think that the oversharing things is a norm. At least we try to. At least I do. But thank God I found another girl feel the same thing, and defend her views.I wish I can buy the blook too.  It also a guide to us ,the non-mommies, if we pregnant in the future and become a parent, we should know to filter our thoughts and excitement of parenthood in cyberspace.

Monday, 22 October 2012

Of seeking new employment, relocation and period

 
 
Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson



Long hiatus, I'm swamped with work and studies. Talking about work, my contract will be ended in this November. In fact, I finished all my work last week. I think I need a new job, and considering of relocation. I want to leave Borneo and come back to my hometown in Klang Valley. Borneo is not kind to me, I earn money on-contract basis (let say it is company B) and I never get a permanent job here. I used to be recommended by my head department to work permanently , and I did attended the interview but there is a human resource policy here stated that if the position can be fulfilled by locals, with the same/less qualification, the locals will be given priority.


Last year, I worked at government organization (which I found a lot of inconsiderate breeders - biasalah organisasi Melayu - note: generalization, forgive me)(let say it is company A) also based on contract basis and was given another contract to continue the service this year but I turned down the offer, as there is no guarantee that I will be absorped and the contract stated that they can terminate me anytime with 7 days notice. I managed to get another job in the same field but working in very flexible hours and thought of being permanent here (in company B) but my rezeki is not meant to be here. And that's why sometimes I don't mind being childfree because I know that I'm not stable financially, let alone having medical insurance. I have intention that if I can get a secure job (I don't mind if it is a private or public sector), I have some money to save and keep aside for the baby if I'm pregnant. But for now, I am just a penniless housewife and sometimes I'm grateful that I'm childfree. I cannot think or imagine if I have child right now with my unstable financial security. Husband on the other hand, is making money here and I asked permission if we can have long-distance relationship because our situation now is unfair (at least to me).  Husband gave permission and he did a drastic move by applying for transfer. We don't know if the application is successful because it is entirely depend on luck and rezeki. I say it is drastic because we planned to live here about 6 to 7 years. But I don't know that it is very hard to me to find a job here despite my expertise is very needed (based on the statistic and industry liason info).Because of my current situation, I'm not doing any treatment nor buy any supplement (except buying the cheap stuff like SK Al-Khishbun).I also have debt with university as studies fees are completely on my shoulder (and husband..hihi) and also debt (in terms of time) with my supervisor, as I see her seldomly, which is not good for the evaluation and my thesis progress. It has been 3 years I live in Borneo and I cannot tolerate with this anymore.


Those are the disadvantages of living in Borneo but there are some wonderful things that I should state here.Since we are far from relatives and friends, we are not bombarded by the inconsiderate questions and nasty remarks consistently.There are questions but we still can manage it.  The wedding inivitation? We cannot attend. Tiket flight mahal ma..The kenduris and feast? Cannot attend. Our neighbours are Ibanese and Chinese so we just mind our own business, no hatred and anger. My rented home here is a terrace hence I don't have any complaint over the landlord nor any house defects. People like family and friends not judging our lifestyle and our life because we are very far from them. They even don't know what type of car we used, or what kind of home we live and how much we earned every month or what kind of lauk we eat everyday. No information on that, and besides we don't like parading our life in social network. Some relatives, family and friends said they want to visit us here and I welcomed that but the fact that the flight ticket consumed their wallets diminishing the intention. Only close family did visit us here. In fact, I feel so calm here, so peaceful. But then there is a price to pay. I lose my job. I used to have a well paid job but I quitted so that I can follow my husband, and now I'm regret.I have to go back to re-establish my career. I want to save as much as possible for retirement. I don't know if I will have a child or not but I don't want to be chased out from my own home.  It's not that I can't depend on husband, but I have my own dreams and wishes. I cannot burden everything solely to husband, he doing his best and am so grateful to have husband like him.

Credit to: US Daily Review


I don't mean to complain or rant about my life, only there is in need of change. And the first move is seeking new employment. I had applying job at countless departments for last 6 months and I never got a call for interview. Maybe the marital status and age playing the key factors. For qualification, I believe I have a quite impressive resume (not meant to boast ma..), but the limited industrial experience (I only involve in education field- mostly in IPTS) and short time of employment (less than 2 years each) at every workplace become an impediment for employer to hire me.



Update on my period:
Hehe benda dalam seluar pun nak cerita, but I'm quite concern with my cycle. This month is the third time my aunt flow not coming punctually. I had a textbook cycle like 28 or 30 days, but in the third year of marriage, my cycle ditch the textbook cycle.

August - 1st
September - 8th
October - 13th

I asked husband if he loves with my new long cycle- "Boleh kita romen lama sikit" I said to him, but he in contrast worry on my condition because menstruation can be a detector of other abnormality. I'll wait for next month if the the cycle is not back to normal, I will see Dr.Lee.


I relate my menstruation cycle with stress. It is true that I'm stress about my career, my study and job. Did you remember about my salivary gland block that in need of operation last year? (link,link, link)  Actually the last Raya Haji the lump is gone. And my jaw and neck come back to normal V shape.  But last Raya Aidilfitri, I saw that my jaw come back to U shape, like a double chin. I asked husband about this and we agreed to delay the treatment until next year.


Again, I relate this abnormality with stress. Last year, it appear because I was stress with co-workers (in company A) who always made remarks and asking stupid question on my fertility. It gone after I turned down the offer to continue the contract. But this time, I agitate on my career and studies.
What I'm doing right now is try to de-stress, and that include believe in rezeki, being grateful person, and try hard to focus on thesis so that I can forget other things.


Will write more later.