Saturday, 26 May 2012

Day 28 & 29

If fate means you to lose, give him a good fight anyhow. ~William McFee

Day 28:
Have you ever done something “non-traditional” in order to help you conceive?

I never understand about non-traditional' things in conceiving. But I think this question have similarity with Day 2. So, the answer is NO. Never did I try something non-traditional.
(Post of Day 2)

Day 29:
Tell us about a friendship you lost or a relationship that changed for the worse because of infertility.

This question also have the similarity with Day 5: Letter to a Fertile Friend. The person I talked in that post (let say her name is Ray) recently gave labour of her son pre-maturely and texting me, which I thought I feel honoured. At least, she did informed me without me heard it through the grapevine. Although she gave answer in a short message for every question I asked her, I still believe she still my close and real friend.

I YM-ing with another single close friend of us (let say her name is Nita), asking her to accompany me visit this new-mother. Actually Nita is closer to Ray as Ray used to stay for years at Nita's home. Means they are housemate. Ray got married and bunting pelamin. I chatted with Nita asking if she is free on the date. Nita replied OK but with little hesitation. Nita frankly told me that Ray has changed and unexplained frigid. I just knew from Nita that Ray actually being warded for a week before delivery. The fact that she being pregnant and warded is heard through the grapevine and Nita sort of 'feel sensitive' about that because she was not informed first-hand.

Valid.I thought I was over-sensitive for being childless, heart-wrenching for hearing my best friend bunting pelamin. After all her doing (as I wrote in that post), I still in denial that I believe she is my friend and I just having emotional upheaval. But after chatting with Nita, I relieved that what I feel about Ray's change is damn true. She completely isolated us (me and Nita) from her life, and just reply/chat happily the updates and status of Facebook from her friend with similar status.

I am a rational childfree but if Ray forgot/neglect us as her friend, I don't bother to claim her as my friend.

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9th Raya and being childfree.

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