Thursday, 17 May 2012

Day 20

Note 1: Thank you to all of you for helping me with the survey. May Allah bless you with rizq, and assistance. To JD (u privatekan blog kah?) and Yannie, thank you so much. Thank you.

Note 2: As anticipated, I can't finish this Infertility Blog Challenge with the stipulated date which supposed to be April 30. You know, it is because I don't think that infertility bother me and husband so much, I mean that infertility is not consumed me, and my pocket. And that's why I was suffocating writing about the infertility in this blog for 19  days, although it were pre-written and automatic schedule posting. It is suffocating.A lot. I admit (and claimed) that I write in this blog just to express my rambling and whining about inconsiderate people, blaming the pompous breeders who apparently not thinking before they speak. It is hurt when people think that making babies is just like buying ice-cream with brands like Cornetto, Walls, Nestle, Magnolia, Haagen Das, Baskin Robin,etc.. Choose the ovulation date and ting!, the baby come out like a scoop of ice-cream and they making joke about our inability. I tell you, there are 2 wives who sneer and show-off to me and their easy capability as a mother making babies every year but they do not know that their husband borrowing money from my husband over time. I'm a bad girl, (next time),if they make remarks of me (for my infertility), I will say, "Beranak banyak-banyak tapi pinjam duit orang pun buat apa? Boleh bagi benih je tapi tak ada telur!"

Back to the issue. So i quit temporarily writing about the challenge and focus on something else. Furthermore, the mood playing its role. So, here I'm back to the blogging world and will drop comments to your blog.


Day 20:
Have you ever bonded with someone IRL over infertility, even just for a few minutes? It could be a family member, friend, neighbour, or even the clerk at the grocery store who noticed your OPK and vitamin purchase. Tell the story.

I told you several times about my childless aunt in this blog. Actually I have two childless aunt. One is paternal aunt and the other one is maternal aunt. The maternal aunt (that I used to write in this blog) have no child, and she admit she never seek any treatment. It happened because she was workaholic.

But did I tell you that she is actually a second wife? Her husband had six (6) children (jika tak silap) with her first wife. Her husband and my aunt get married when I was little, so I can see how she fighting the accusations and sarcastic glance from the world troughout her life. She is the least beautiful among her siblings and that's why my grandmother and my late grandfather were not favoured her, assuming that she will take care of them and be a single lady until last breath. My mother used to mentioned that her life is not as smooth as other siblings, as my grandma and late grandpa not treating her like any other daughter. She is not pretty and always grumpy, so they underestimated her- thinking that my aunt never will get married. However, my aunt had her own dreams. So right after she finished her high school, she left kampung and went to KL alone, staying temporarily at her aunt's home. She built her own life, buying a good car, buying a house, and buying a good garments as she was working in hotel industry. Again, villagers, grandma and grandpa were so narrow-minded assuming that the hotel industry was full of sins and vices to extent they rejected the money given by my aunt. And the narrow minded villagers assumed that she able to live in luxury because she do something bad working in hotel, i.e. being a prostitute. However, my mother defended my aunt because she know everything about my aunt, since she lived with my aunt in her house (at that time both of them were not married and working in KL).

My mother said to me that my aunt is the epitome of the strong woman. She is not pretty but working in hotel industry, with good attitude and some knowledge, enable her to save money from the tips given by celebrities, foreign tourist, and include entourage from Bollywood like Asha Farekh, and she had chance rubbing shoulder among them and sometimes gossipping about their real face without make up with my mother after their working hours when they back home. She met her husband who actually a long-time boyfriend. His first wife of course not taking it gracefully, but she gave her permission, as my uncle (her husband) was making high salary in banking sector (after applying legally with syariah court and what nots). But still, life of my aunt never went smooth after she got married, she was never been accepted in her family in law. After all, who like second wife?

However, my uncle is very fond of my aunt. He love my aunt unconditionally, which all of the family can see that he love being childfree with my aunt. I can see that his marriage with her first wife only on paper because he never disappear from any family event with us. He also do many things with my aunt which (I heard) he can't do with his first wive - travelling, hanging out at cafes, trying new food, island hopping, making mini lawn, watching movies, shopping, etc)..

My aunt used to asked my mother to advise me to seek treatment and not becoming like her. My aunt is very good woman, and she just unlucky in certain way, maybe because she know she is not pretty and have no choice. I and my little brothers love her, my brother mentioned that 'she is special woman, we never knew other woman like her in our life, or in other life'.. That is so true.. She fights alone with the infertility.

Actually, the fact that she used to get pregnant is not knowing by our family, she is very close with my mother and my mother and father always bring her for travel. My brother was shocked when I told him that she used to get pregnant and miscarriage. She consumed aubergine and had fever. Then she took panadols but she awared that after consumed both, the stillbirth took place. My mother always take care of her, particularly when all of them are now being an old citizen, and her husband is still working. I always love her and I love her more like my mother when I know the hardship of being childless.

Erm..the paternal aunt is a special case, she choose to live childfree. I'll write about her later.

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