Day 7

Having babies is fun, but babies grow up into people. 
- M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter, "The Price of Tomato Juice"


Day 7:
If you had gotten pregnant that first month you started trying, how would you have been a different parent? What changes have you made to your parenting style (either current or future) in the time you spent trying to conceive?

If I got pregnant at the first month of trying, my parenting style can be different. If I got pregnant at the first of trying, I believed that I will be a Tiger Mother like my mother. Since I was raised by Tiger Mother, I always think that it is the best way of educating children. This thoughts is due to the lack of research, lack of reading and lack of observation.Yelah, sebab try je sebulan terus pregnant kan.No time to research and read more. My mother is completely diffrent from my mother in law. How about fatherhood? Well, I can say that both my father and my father in law have no difference, might due to their role as a breadwinner so that the parenting style mostly comes from mother. Or so do I think.

If I got pregnant at the first month, I only have chances to read about pregnancy or delivery experience but not on parenthood. The pregnancy is only for 9 month, minus morning sickness and minus shopping for baby things.By the time the baby is off from the womb, I certainly believe that I have no chance of reading, let alone of reading about parenthood.

I might read about baby food or shopping online for baby clothes but not parenting style. For me, the research about parenting style is so important because that's how we will shape and produce our children. The parenting style needs two to tango, which means both father and mother have their own function to educate to their children. This kind of research will not finish until our children reach the certain age, but it is long life learning. It does not mean that we expecting our children to be perfectionist and demanding a lot from our children. We just want our parenting style is appropriate to every phase of their childhood and preserve their self-esteem in order to know his/her own real potential. Every kids is  unique so I think the parenting style to every kids from different families might not be the same. I believe there is no single perfect parents but all of us are trying to be a good, decent and respected parents.

I'm here not saying that the parents who get their children in their early marriage are not a good parent. Allah know everything, and He may think that those parents can do their job as parents without any information, i.e. just depending on their parent's parenting style and their experience. Allah may think that we are not ready yet and wanna us give the best to our children, so He spare some time for us to plan to our parenting style and ready with the information available.

Credit to:  Shakespearessister

If I got pregnant at the first month of trying, I may lack of empathy and sympathy to other TTC friends. I may not understand the difficulties of getting pregnant and I may act as common inconsiderate breeders who are being childish showing off and obsessing about their children in online or offline. Throughout the childfree period, I observe the parenting style of other parents and take into account on the good and the bad of their styles. Sometimes I and my husband discuss about parenting styles that we saw from other parents. We are not blaming or critisizing them, but we take the good one and omit the bad one (in the future InsyaAllah if God permit it). Yang baik dijadikan tauladan dan yang buruk dijadikan sempadan.


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