Vanity is so secure in the heart of man that everyone wants to be admired: even I who write this, and you who read this. - Blaise Pascal
When talking to your fertile parenting friends, what is/was your favorite “perk” of childlessness to rub in their face? Sleeping in? Vacations? Hot pre-pregnancy body? Come on, confess!
When talking to my fertile parenting friends, my favourite "perks" of childlessness to rub in their face are (according to rank and suitability):
1) My master thesis
I always use this "perks" to rub in their face. Usually, they will enjoy showing off their babies and talking non-stop how blissful their life is, how being a mother is indescribable, what they shopped for their babies, the full of her/himself about their babies, and the list goes on.After they asked me when I will get my own baby, I said "after I finish my study". They will shut their ugly mouth off. And they suddenly become curmodgenly grumpy..Haha!
From my humble experience of being childless, my submission to heels inviting jealousy among mothers. Mothers here are not merely 4 or 5 mothers, but more than that. I like to wear heels because as I used to read in the book titled "The Wives' Book: For the Wife who's Best at Everything" the 10 Tips for Modern Wife. One of them is
"Don't worry about putting on weight - wear higher heels"
Witty. But I like wearing heels since I was single and I think I should not tossed my heels just because I gain my weight.Weight gain is inevitable to wives, no?
Some mothers mocking me wearing heels by creating their 'child saying' like, "anak akak cakap kasut macam ni kasut banjir". (followed with the pretentious giggles from me and envious laugh from mothers).
The other said "my toddler is hyperactive and how i can chasing her/him if I wearing heels like you?".
The other will said "alaaaa..belum ada anak boleh la pakai, dah ada anak nanti patah pinggang mendukung anak, masa tu baru pandai cari Bata".
Another mother will say, "I feel like bangau wearing heels".
|Credit to: Shutterstock|
At the end of the day, all of them trying to fit their giant leg to my heels, asked me the tips on how to wear it right, and whining about their husband for not permitting them to buy new shoes..
2) Good reads
Since I'm not pregnant, why should I bother seeking knowledge of baby thingy (particularly in public)? Fashion and beauty will make my husband love me more.
Furthermore, seeing my table and my beg consist some fashion and beauty magazines and some good books, the fertile mothers will talk about their kids less. Seeing me flipping the good magazines pages make them reduce their egoism about fertility toward me. I used to sit among mothers who always boasting about their pregnancy expriences, and they flipping and exchanging low-minded books and magazines among them, but soon after,they hiding those bogus books and magazines when I took out and read my good books. And they stopped talking about baby bump.
Plus,the collection of good reads will certainly shut up the blithe tongue of mothers who come to my home just want to insult me with --"your home is beautiful and your floor is sparkling because you are childless"..
3) High quality and classy garments, add make up.
Appearance is very important. Particularly the childless one like me. I used to work with a childless senior but apparently she had an appearance and body odour problem. Her TTC story was public knowledge and she always talked about it to me. One day, several officemates came to me and asked me to talk nicely to her; if she can changed her appearance and asked me to join with them to buy a branded perfume set.I sweared to God if I have the heart to do so but I don't have the temerity to do that albeit the problem sometimes uncomforted me .I just gave lame excuse; maybe the senior in her menstruation and her imbalance hormone betrayed her body. At the end of our secret conversation, one of the junior made the summary and said like this, "patutlah dia tak beranak, agaknya laki dia pun tak selera nak main dengan dia!"..
I never want to educate women out there about appearance, as I know you are more diligent and more meticulous than me, but can you see how importance the appearance of a woman, particularly our community look up to the childless women? I'm not talking about celebrity-like make up or photoshoot-3cm-thickness make up but I dont want to be seen as walking corpse.
|Credit to: WeLoveHijab|
That thing became a wake up call for me although I was single at that time. And I am grateful to be part of the secret conversation as it shape my opinion about appearance, although sometimes my husband complaining and making jokes how meticulous I am in my dolling up session.
After all, he can't forever whining about it since I got compliments from my previous students, his students,the makcik cleaner, the Apek tauke kedai hujung jalan, RnR staff and his nieces and nephews...You can say I am so perasan, and helpless vain, and now you can puke!.
The biras that I used to write here who always saying to me "best ada anak", "best ada budak kecil dalam rumah","best bila ada baby" ,just can swallowed her saliva when her kids always seized her brooches and her accessories. Did I tell you she wearing cheap make-up made her face like bibik going downtown?
Call me bitchy, but seeing that made me smirked and delirium creeping in my vein..
4) Being an active couple
-watching movies at cinema/watching teathre
-going to book sale carnival
-going to carnival/expo/festival/exhibitions (Homedec, art exhibition, watching cavalcade, etc)
-involve in extreme sport / normal sport (Yes we do, especially diving and we are planning to get a diving licence. Diving without licence not giving us the supposed satisfaction since we just can dive not more than 12m. Looking and gazing every inch of deep down under the sea made us grateful for every single things Allah had provided to us. Indescribable. No words can eloquently explain how grateful we are to Allah who has gave His permission to us to explore His creation, only to realize that His creation is not only a human from my womb, but all His creation in His universe)
Upload a lot of vacation photos.This will make mothers hide you from their wall.
2) Updating status on good read
Utilize all the share buttons. When the baby-craze world updating about their babies, updating about your current reads or funny good links. (which are anything unrelated about pregnancies or babies). You will surprised how much like-minded friend do you have.
Eh, macam terbagi tips pulak.Haha!
I may not answering the question which want the favourite 'perks' when talking to fertile friend, but these are what I do before they giving unsolicited advices or showing unwelcomed non-sense compassion ugly faces. But when do the talking, vacations and my study always be my favourite.