Why, why, why
Have to stand up to be stronger
- Pale, by WT -
I am the person who is difficult to wake up in the morning and to perform my Subuh prayer. I need my hubby to pull me up for the full and clear awake. But, yesterday i woke up in sudden motion, which surprised my husband. Indeed, we actually were very late to go to the office, but the work in the office involve only simple thing. I dreamed of something but i can't remember. I woke up in sudden and I numb for seconds. My husband didn't asked me anything, he knows I can be 'crazy' in the morning with my stupor.
What i'm thinking? I woke up in sudden justbecause i was so shocked with myself. I shocked why my tummy is flat, I surprised why my womb is empty, I wondered why i can't get pregnant, I confused why i am not like other woman? Why, why, why?
Up to this date, i'm not buying a lot of pregnancy sticks and screaming seeing the red things on my panties. No, i'm not that kind of person. I still can be positive. And I redha for what my fate has put up on me.. It just happened on yesterday morning that I can't believe I'm still not pregnant!
I wanted to cry, but my mind fully woke up remind me that i and my husband were late! So the thoughts remained unanswered. I think I am in denial on my luck and my fate, but my sub-concious mind told me that i'm left behind in my own life.