Sunday, 3 July 2011

Why, why, why

Have to stand up to be stronger
- Pale, by WT -

I am the person who is difficult to wake up in the morning and to perform my Subuh prayer. I need my hubby to pull me up for the full and clear awake. But, yesterday i woke up in sudden motion, which surprised my husband. Indeed, we actually were very late to go to the office, but the work in the office involve only simple thing. I dreamed of something but i can't remember. I woke up in sudden and I numb for seconds. My husband didn't asked me anything, he knows I can be 'crazy' in the morning with my stupor.

What i'm thinking? I woke up in sudden justbecause i was so shocked with myself. I shocked why my tummy is flat, I surprised why my womb is empty, I wondered why i can't get pregnant, I confused why i am not like other woman? Why, why, why?

Up to this date, i'm not buying a lot of pregnancy sticks and screaming seeing the red things on my panties. No, i'm not that kind of person. I still can be positive. And I redha for what my fate has put up on me.. It just happened on yesterday morning that I can't believe I'm still not pregnant!

I wanted to cry, but my mind fully woke up remind me that i and my husband were late! So the thoughts remained unanswered. I think I am in denial on my luck and my fate, but my sub-concious mind told me that i'm left behind in my own life.

3 comments:

  1. insyaallah...byk2 dia...semoga satu hari nanti kita diberi peluang sperti wanita2 di luar sana yg menjadi ibu..teringin sgt nak rasa pergerakan baby lam perut ni...hmmmm...sama2 doakan ye

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  2. sabarlah dear.. sedih zana baca entry ni.. sama2 kita doakan agar kita akan dpt merasa pengalaman utk pregnant, melahirkan & menjadi ibu yer..

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  3. Eka and Adieyza: InsyaAllah..B&C tak pernah lupa doa supaya kita yang TTC ni tak perlu melaluinya any longer.supaya kita semua boleh berbicara tentang susu, pampers, dan pengalaman bersalin masing-masing.

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