Sunday, 3 July 2011

Why, why, why

Have to stand up to be stronger
- Pale, by WT -

I am the person who is difficult to wake up in the morning and to perform my Subuh prayer. I need my hubby to pull me up for the full and clear awake. But, yesterday i woke up in sudden motion, which surprised my husband. Indeed, we actually were very late to go to the office, but the work in the office involve only simple thing. I dreamed of something but i can't remember. I woke up in sudden and I numb for seconds. My husband didn't asked me anything, he knows I can be 'crazy' in the morning with my stupor.

What i'm thinking? I woke up in sudden justbecause i was so shocked with myself. I shocked why my tummy is flat, I surprised why my womb is empty, I wondered why i can't get pregnant, I confused why i am not like other woman? Why, why, why?

Up to this date, i'm not buying a lot of pregnancy sticks and screaming seeing the red things on my panties. No, i'm not that kind of person. I still can be positive. And I redha for what my fate has put up on me.. It just happened on yesterday morning that I can't believe I'm still not pregnant!

I wanted to cry, but my mind fully woke up remind me that i and my husband were late! So the thoughts remained unanswered. I think I am in denial on my luck and my fate, but my sub-concious mind told me that i'm left behind in my own life.


  1. insyaallah...byk2 dia...semoga satu hari nanti kita diberi peluang sperti wanita2 di luar sana yg menjadi ibu..teringin sgt nak rasa pergerakan baby lam perut ni...hmmmm...sama2 doakan ye

  2. sabarlah dear.. sedih zana baca entry ni.. sama2 kita doakan agar kita akan dpt merasa pengalaman utk pregnant, melahirkan & menjadi ibu yer..

  3. Eka and Adieyza: InsyaAllah..B&C tak pernah lupa doa supaya kita yang TTC ni tak perlu melaluinya any longer.supaya kita semua boleh berbicara tentang susu, pampers, dan pengalaman bersalin masing-masing.


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