Saturday, 30 April 2011

Announcement of the Pregnancy in Facebook


My preggy friends on Facebook regularly posting this on Facebook every week (i was told it is automatically published via application). The two people who click 'like' on the status only the husband and the wife. From my perspective, it is like they have kind of 'syok sendiri berdua'.  I am not jealous, but i have other friends who kept silent about their pregnancy. They told me that their hubby did not allowed them to annouce proudly on the pregnancies as it is the Allah's secret. God give it and God can take it back. They got a point. Same goes to pregnancy ticker.

It is not okay if you keep alone the baby progress in your handphone or your email?
What is your intention of announce it publicly? Following trend? Let me tell you, sometimes trends are stupid and you are dumb bunny when you follow that stupid thing. Sorry to say, no offense yah.

I understand the excitement of getting pregnant and waiting the new member of your family, but .....

tolonglah sekali sekala ada hati dan ada perut.

Friday, 29 April 2011

Surrounded by preggy mom

  • I am surrounded by preggy moms in my office. And that hurts me.
  • Most of them are younger than me. The girl sit next to me is announcing her pregancy after we were trapped by unexpected and dangerous event. She just married for a month.
  • The girl sit in front of me proudly telling everyone that she did the scan things and fulfill the wish of her husband - get a son.
  • The girl sit behind me with 2 months pregnancy, selling the romper, busha, stockings and shoes for baby. When the other surround  her to do their bargain and enjoying the cuteness of those baby things, i just keep quiet pretending i am busy.
  • My friend, who do her Master like me, just got married at the end of last year, a year later than me, got pregnant of 4 months. 
  • I used to try to intefere and sometimes interupt their conversation about their children and baby in their belly, but one of them said this to me "dia tak tahu sebab dia tak rasa lagi...". I was so offended and decided to remain silent. Lantaklah anak mereka nak tunggang terbalik ke malas aku nak concern lagi dah. It is true but can you arrange another sweet sentence and word?
  • My neighbour used making faces like 'why i am not pregnant, infertile maybe, any problem'. She always asked me if i have a bun in the oven but i replied negative. And yesterday she announced to me that she will have a second baby girl.
  • I know they didn't mean anything but why suddenly i feel so down hearing all of those things..

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Photo of The Day (1)


A lot of baby photos are installed in my netbook.I forgot (never) take note of the photo owner. Credit to the photo owner and the cherubic baby's mother.

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Let us pray


I know I should focus on my study, writing and researching for my perennial assignments. But, i can't. In everything I see, I relate them with my situation. I just browsing the books on the table and I saw this. Waktu-waktu yang mustajab untuk berdoa. The great thing about Islam - we have faith and belief that guide us throughout the journey of our life. The dependency to the superior power soothing us in different way.

I saw this article in a book and I know i should try harder. If people can get something (degree, rich man, power, money, wealth, respect, children) in easiest common way, we might not have the similar journey. But the sweetest thing is that we appreciate more of what we already have, knowingly we were 'sweating' to achieve/reach/get them. If others got pregnant beyond expectation, we got pregnant with a lot of effort. I may not the best person to say this but I believe all of you can understand what it means.

Let us pray in waktu-waktu mustajab doa,moga -moga Allah akan perkenankan segala doa kita.

The Introduction

  • This is my very first post in this blog. I don't know how to express the agony of being infertile and pain of being a TTC couple. I came across several blogs talking about TTC and i'm glad i know some people out there are in the same boat. So i decide to open this blog on the journey towards motherhood.
  • Brief information about me- I am a 27 years old wife, married for 1 year and 4 months but we still not yet bestowed with the greatest miracle of life. Residing in Malaysia, working and part-time Master student.
  • I am not so fluent and excel in English but i want the messages in this blog is spreading throughout the globe, particularly the TTC and women in the same shoe. So, i only use the simple and plain English and do tell me if i making mistakes, be it grammatical errors or facts or information.
  • As the name implies, i longing for bouncing healthy and cherubic baby(ies).
  • What is the story behing the opening of this blog? - Actually i am glad i'm not pregnant in the first year of the marriage, due to the commitment to my study. I love when there is only two of us. I see myself as Carrie Bradshaw in the 'Sex and the City'. However, as time goes by, i gradually and indirectly become ashamed that i can't conceive.Yet. I never put high hope because my period is coming regularly. But, last month, it was late for 3 days, and i did the UPT (Urine Pregnancy Test) and it indicated a blury of positive sign. I was over the moon. I told my hubby and he did confirmed he saw the same thing (the blury positive sign). I started reading books about pregnancy and dreaming of my child's first book (BTW, i love reading and i wnat my children love reading too) and started looking information from the internet. The day after, we did bought the expensive and most sensitive UPT, but dissapointedly i have no a mililitre of HCG in my urine, let alone the positive sign. It was devastating.
  • It was accident when i need some theraphy i came across several blogs about TTC and oh God, all of you are so strong..
  • So far, i never see any doctor or did any fertility treatment except the traditional massage (berurut) once. I heard all of the women seeing her the tukang urut have become a mother, and i, still have an empty womb.
  • I used to ask my hubby if we can adopt a child, but he insisted on having our own child. I will tell more stories, and i hope we can share our exprience.
  • Last but not least, i will also blog about what i did to divert my focus and live life to the fullest.